Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
