So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
