Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
