his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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