if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
