Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
