I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
