you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
