Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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