So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
