I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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