all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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