How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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