i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
