Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
