I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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