I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
