nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
