just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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