the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
