just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
