He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Randomize
