I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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