thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
