I just cut my nipple shaving
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
