He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
