Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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