I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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