those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
