I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
