Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
