dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
