How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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