I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
