he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
