Can i not drive my cunt home
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
