You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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