yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
