I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize