wake up i wanna do it froggy style
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
