im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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