Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
