singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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