There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
