I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
