Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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