she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Did I show you my penis last night?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
