Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
