Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
