If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
