Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
