Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
