Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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