I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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