i think my mom watched the whole time
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
