Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
