I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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