i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i think i just lost a toe
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
