what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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